Project I: Nashville

For the first project, it made sense that it would be through the divine hand of God that it came to fruition. From unpredictable circumstances that is for another future story, I found myself alone in Northern Nashville, in a hotel placed right in the middle of the projects. Surrounded by lost sheep, seeking anything that might lead them away from this broken path. I knew this trip was going to have divine purpose, and it began on my first flight that morning. Leaving from Sacramento to LA for my connecting flight, I was towards the back of the plane, in a very empty cabin but looking for a concealed corner that I can study and pray. As I began my study of Romans 12, the stewardess comes and sits next to me in my row, and insist the following; “I think you need to pray for me.” Removing my headphones and focusing myself to her, I began to dig deeper into what it was that she was seeking. For the course of the rest of the hour long flight, she would remain next to me and share with me the things she has been wrestling with, and I listened, and I prayed continuously over her until our flight concluded.

After being met with some disappointments and refocusing my purpose, I settled into my hotel and I set out to find dinner; wandering into a pizza shop and ordering enough of a pie to share. As I began my walk back towards my hotel, I met Shania. She was 51 with three daughters. She had not seen them for years, she’s been homeless for a decade and addicted to crack and alcohol for even longer. She had a warm heart, she still held her motherly characteristics close. We sat on the curb and shared some pizza as I listened to her story, when her motherly heart kicked in and said we should go share some pizza with Kat sitting outside the 7Eleven; a paralytic that seemed to only be able to survive by the hands of those around her. I then sat with Kat and her mother Melissa, and we shared some pizza and I listened to them. The night before, their tent had been burned down by someone else, burning what little they had. It was a very cold night, and as I sat and watched as Kat was shivering in her wheelchair, Melissa began to weep over the loss of their tent repeating “We shouldn’t be here like this.” I placed my hand in her hand and prayed over Melissa, but I felt helpless. When I finished a man walked up to me, towering over me. He asked “What book you got there?” Looking up to at him I rose to my feet with my bible in hand replying “the book of life.” His name was Drake. Though, there seemed to only be a shell of what was once Drake. I asked him if he knew Jesus and what he knew about Him. He began mumbling some things, only being to make out a couple words here and there. He continued that he tries to follow, he makes mistakes often, he wishes he could walk the right path, and then he asked if I would pray over him. I did so, dapped him up and continued inside the 7Eleven to get some water. At the counter the man behind the registered broke the ice saying “Having a bible study out there?” Smiling, I replied “Trying to, man.” He then asked me if I knew any scripture that he could read, and he ripped off a piece of receipt and handed it to me with a pen. Caught off guard, I opened my bible and flipped through everything quickly, and landed on John 6; “I am the bread of life.” I wrote it down and handed the receipt back to him. I asked him his name and dapped him up, “Corey” he replied. As I greeted him and began thanking him for my water he asked “Pray for me?” I said “What do you need prayer for brother?” After confessing some things from his heart he came around from behind the counter and I asked to lay my hand on him, and began to pray over him. Afterwards he invited me to come back the following night. I laid in bed that night so confused at the turn of events, but realized that I was stepping out in faith and God was creating the path of Revival Project.

The following day I went out again, finding Shania again by the gas station. I sat with her on this broken retaining wall; happy to see me she began trying to figure me out and why I was there. “I was in Nashville looking for you, and I found you.” She smiled. I asked her if she had ate yet and invited her to come get lunch with me, she insisted on Subway. We ate lunch together and I read her the gospel. I continued to tell her about Jesus, and why I place my hope in him. She inclined her ear to me as she ate, and when we finished we headed back over to the gas station. After hanging out and chatting with a few people I had seen from the previous night, I slipped away and walked back to my hotel. Just before the turn into the drive of my hotel there was a younger man dressed in a McDonalds uniform standing in front of these ran down apartments, the type that open up to the street, with a broken down chain link fence and busted out cars in the parking lot. Staring at me as I approached him, looking down at my bible and then back at me repeatedly, I called out as I approached him “What’s your name?” “Markell,” he replied, “What do you need prayer for, friend?” As he looked away scanning the block; “My life.” feeling the pain in this statement, and seeing the authenticity in his eyes, I replied “Your life, what about your life?” Still trying not to make eye contact he says “It’s probably going to end today.” Feeling deep compassion in that moment, seeing a young man that is weary, I asked him “Why is it going to end today?” “Because I am tired of these addictions.” “What addictions do you have Markell,” Markell confessed everything; “Meth, crack, weed, porn.” I snapped his attention towards me and looked into his eyes and said “Markell, do you want to be free,” nodding his head yes, I said okay I am going to pray over you is it okay if I place my hand on you, I then prayed over him, crying out to God to deliver this young man of all these things. After I was done I shared the gospel and told him to say “I am free.” I told him I loved him, hugged him, and went on my way to my hotel. After resting in my room, I went out again for dinner, doing the same routine at the pizza shop. After walking around for a bit I found Drake again, I sat again with him and another man named Andre. We shared stories of how our day went, it was a short conversation but I again prayed over them, then made my way to the 7Eleven. When I walked into, I found Corey behind the counter with his bible out, talking to another man with his bible out. When he saw me he called out to me and said “There’s that man I was telling you about.” The older gentlemen looked up from his bible over at me and said “Maybe you can help me," making my way over to the counter I placed my bible down and said “With what?” He replied “It’s been over a year since I’ve opened my bible and this man was talking about it so I had to go grab it out of my car and I am looking for the passage where Jesus talks about the sign of the end times.” I smiled and replied “Go to Matthew 24,” I then went and grabbed my water and came back to the counter to talk to Corey. After chatting for a bit, Corey insisted again; “Pray for me?” I said “I got you” he came from around the counter, as the store continued to be filled up with people, and I grabbed him and began praying over him. After saying amen I dapped him up and he resumed to helping out customers, and invited me to come back again the next night.

The next day, and last full day, I spent most of it in my bed, feeling drained from the previous two days. But eventually I made my way up, and went out again with the intent to pray over as many people as I could. As soon as I left my hotel there was a truck driver stepping out of his moving-styled-truck, as I was walking away from him he yelled out “Aye that hoodie is tough” seeing the print on the back that says “God Is In Los Angeles” I turned and smiled and ran up to him and said “What’s your name brother?” “Brandon,” he replied. We dapped up and chatted, he inquired what I was doing, I said I am going out to preach. Puzzled since it was dark and beginning to rain, he says “Yeah there’s definitely some people that need it down there.” After a short chat I asked to pray over him, laid my hands on him and then dapped him up and made my way away from the hotel. I found myself on a back road and there was a couple people standing around on the corner, I approached them and two of them gave me their attention, one was a man name Andre, the other was a women named Christine. Andre explained to me that it had been 3 days since his last solid meal, and Christine was clearly high on meth and was asking for change. After going back and forth for a little, I asked them both if I could pray for them, Christine immediately dropped her grocery bag of personal items and put her head down and said “yes please,” Andre looked at me and agreed, I placed my hand over them both, and cried out to God to deliver them both, as I was praying Christine began to weep, and she began to sink into herself, Andre soon followed. After I finished I gave them both a hug, said I loved them and that I would try to come and find them in an hour. As I continued walking I found Drake, he seemed sad today, so I prayed over him and invited him to walk with me to the pizza shop. we talked on our walk over to the shop, on the corner opposite of the shop two young men were crossing, as I passed one looked back at me and yelled “Aye is that a bible?” I replied “Yea,” he said “I ain’t never seen that before,” I smiled at him and waved him over, he yelled back “Oh naw you come over here,” I approached him and his friend and called out “What’s your name? What you on tonight?” He said his name Steph, and his friends name was Nick, they were both passing through Nashville staying at a nearby motel, Steph was from St. Louise and Nick was from Memphis. I sat and talked with them for a bit, asked if I could pray over them, then made my way back over to where Drake was waiting for me and got dinner. After we got our pizza and walked back to the gas station I came across person after person, and prayed over all of them. when I was finished and snuck away from the people, I made my walk back to the hotel now that the rain was starting to pour harder, and I ran into Andre on the sidewalk near that same ran down apartment. He asked me if I would get him a meal, so we walked to the McDonalds that was nearby, they were closed for walk-ins, but he begged that I just go through the busy drive through. So I walked over and got in line in the drive through, when I got up to the speaker to order there was another women going car to car asking for change. After I ordered she came up to the car that, whom let me order since I couldn’t trigger the sensors and needed a car to trigger them, and she asked her for any change. The driver said she didn’t have any, and I called her over to me and said what’s your name, “Justine,” she replied. I sat and talked with her while I waited in the drive through, she began to weep deep tears, and I rubbed her back and asked her if I could pray for her, she agreed and we prayed. As it was my turn to pay the lady from the car before rolled her window down, moved by compassion, and offered to buy her a meal. So we go to the window and placed her order in as well. After Andre got his food and everything was accomplished, I finally made it back to my hotel, slightly past midnight, showered and laid in best trying to understand what all just happened this weekend.

What was suppose to be a calm trip turned to an extended amount of pouring. Part of my heart was filled, and part of my heart was burdened by how heavy all of that was. Nevertheless, the Lord’s finger prints were all over this. And wherever he sends me I will go, and be obedient to revive His children that He places in front of me.

What I learned…

This trip was actually very painful. God revealed a lot of things in my heart, and it was a weekend of feeling the dying of my flesh. A familiar feeling, but is never something that feels good. God showed me that there was some idolatry that was hiding in my heart, there was some lust that had been disguising itself, there was some pride that I was holding on to. Part of me was torn between staying in my hotel room and ringing these things from my heart, or not wasting a trip and going out into the streets to preach. Though I chose the ladder, and though God was gracious in providing people who I needed to be met. My heart felt the weight of these things hiding. I felt the doubt if God was going to hear my cries and move on my behalf for these people when I have iniquities in my heart. I also felt helpless, that the things that some of these people are carrying are the same exact things that I am carrying, and if I am someone who is chasing after the Lord with all my heart and I still have these blemishes that are hiding within me, what hope do these people have from one single conversation? What sanctifying work can be done with nobody to disciple you? No guidance through the word? And no ability to entice these people to find a church that will accept them. It made me question if my street preaching was for them or if it was for me to feel good about preaching to the lost, broken and needy.

Part of this trip showed me how faithful God is to catch you when you take the jump of faith. To lead and guide you when you do not know where to go. That He is that wall of fire that will lead you while you wonder. I truly felt helpless, not knowing what I am doing, and feeling unprepared the entire time. But God continued to show me what to do, brought people to me, and gave me words to say.

Some of the difficulties of this ministry that I foresee is not knowing if any of this made a difference. some of these people’s minds were so far gone that I don’t even know if they knew they were talking to me. Some of these people have strongholds that have held them captive for 10+ years, and I don’t know if my one prayer was enough to deliver them of that many years of trauma and demonic possession or oppression. I understand that the power of Christ has no bounds, but it can feel unfulfilling to pour out over so many people and not one of them be changed. Or not getting to see the fruit of that one person. I felt some of that loneliness and emptiness in my hotel room. Particularly after the longest day I had. In that moment I deeply questioned, and maybe in some ways grieved, if this was really the life that I wanted to pursue after. If being burdened with these feelings was something that I regularly wanted to encounter. I also questioned why I was out there doing it alone. Why God didn’t surround me with a team that could come along side me and encourage me, people that could intercede for me when I was empty, mentors that I could reach out to for wisdom. I know God calls us to moments of isolation, and in those moments He does His greatest work in us. But I didn’t feel that those days. It felt quite, lonely, painful. It was moments where tears found themselves falling down the side of my face, and wondering who am I to be out here in the middle of the projects of Nashville trying to preach to crack addicts. No money, no people, just the Word and the Light at my feet.

Who am I to be preaching.