Worthy Of My Suffering

“Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.’” (Matthew 16:24 ESV)

There’s a wonderful, miraculous, grace filled exchange that happens when you receive Christ into your life; when you confess with your mouth and surrender yourself to the Father. It is a freedom you have never felt before, a breath that you have never breathed before, stepping into life from death. But there is something else that is occurring in that moment. As you are taking on the righteousness of Christ, He calls you and I to take up our cross, to deny our flesh, and follow Him with our whole hearts. This taking up a cross signifies admittance of guilt, taking on the identity of a follower of Christ, the sharing in the suffering of Christ in the pursuit of being transformed into His image. As a mature follower of Christ, you will not escape this life without suffering for His name, without persecution, without seasons of trials and storms that strip you of everything as the Father carries you through it. A true disciple of Christ will not escape this life without their faith being tested through fire and their character being pruned by the love of the Father. What does it mean to suffer well as a true disciple of Christ? Something American Christianity has rejected and repulses with their whole being. But they are missing their greatest fruits of their life. They are not experiencing life abundantly.

“For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:21-23 ESV)

There is two kinds of suffering; there is the suffering that Christ did that was in total obedience to the Father, where Christ in the perfect will of the Father and in total grace of the Lord; walked through suffering taking on the sins of the world and God’s full wrath. Intense suffering, that was in the Father’s will. You and I will experience this suffering in our lives; walking in obedience to the Father’s will, but the Father allows seasons of suffering in our lives. The other suffering is a suffering Christ has never experienced, this is a specific suffering that you and I experience that is unnecessary, yet we most likely walk in this suffering the most; disobedience and living outside of the Father’s will. There’s grace and redemption for this suffering too, though.

I need to be very clear here for a moment; and please do not hear what I am not saying. If you are walking through trauma, or experience a deep suffering at the hand of someone else, or you have a past of deep wounds inflicted upon you by sin, you do not share in the responsibility of Christ of remaining silent and walking in obedience. It is not disobedient nor is it prideful to turn away from this suffering. It would rather be wise and take great humility to run from this suffering, to seek counsel, to find refuge for this suffering. It’s things like these that Paul would say “grieve the Holy Spirit,” the Father shares in our sorrow when sin inflicts us. Please do not justify the sexual abuse you experienced as enduring the suffering that God had planned for you. Or justify it that this happened to you as a result of your disobedience. That is far from the truth, a satanic lie, and if you experience suffering like this or are currently walking through a season like this, seek counsel from people you trust that can come alongside you and provide a righteous perspective for you.

I want you to take a moment and picture Jesus as he was beaten bloody, spit on, curses spoken over him, lies screamed on his behalf; while walking in complete innocence, yet He did not speak a single word back to His accusers nor His torturers. I love how Peter shows us Jesus’ humanity in this text, that as Jesus was walking through suffering He continued to entrust Himself to the Father. Showing that Jesus trusted the Lord to raise Him after death and judgement. The reason Jesus goes to the cross without speaking a word was to fulfill what Isaiah 53:7 says, so here we see the hypostatic union of Christ; Jesus’s deity and humanity taking place at the same time. I love text where you can see the Spirit working in Jesus, and the flesh submitting itself to the Father’s will. Because it reminds me that you and I have been given the same Spirit. Christ has left you and I an example of what it means to suffer well. I believe the first thing you and I need when we feel a season of suffering is approaching, or has arrived, is to walk in humility. God refuses the proud but gives grace to the humble. How can you be sure that the suffering you are experiencing is within the will of the Father? See where your pride is. What is hiding in your heart? Has a trial arose in your life and in your pride you begin to do things you aren’t suppose to be doing, you say things that damage relationships, you start going to websites that you know you shouldn’t be on looking for comfort and a break from this pain you are feeling. It is actions like these, heart postures like these, that will breed unnecessary suffering. Consider the level of humility it takes to stand before a judge as an innocent man, and be accused of things you never said or did, and not say a word on your own defense. Let me take it a step further, consider the humility to be God in the flesh who can “…appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels?” (Matthew 26:53 ESV) and yet you remain silent. Perfect humility.

The next example that I believe that Christ leaves for you and I in suffering well is obedience. To entrust yourself is to be obedient to what you have heard from the Lord. My Mother told me this some time ago, but I agree with her that when the author of Hebrews 12:2 says “for the joy set before Him [He] endured the cross,” that the joy that was before Jesus was being obedient to the Father. For it was Jesus who said “everything that I do pleases the Father,” and I believe it brought joy to Jesus to please the Father even in His suffering. It is possible that the joy set before Him was you and I, but I personally do not elevate my forgiveness above pleasing the Father.

You and I experience seasons of calm, seasons of peace and communion with the Lord that feel blissful. Where we ask the Lord a questions and we hear Him answer. We ask Him for clarity and He shows us a way. We seek Him for guidance and faith, and He pours it out. It is in these seasons I would encourage you to journal these thoughts, dreams, visions, and moments of clear communication from the Father. Because unlike Christ, you and I have a dichotomous heart that is prone to trust in itself rather then the one who holds your next breath. “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:6-8 ESV) James gives us a wonderful picture of what it can feel like when we step out in faith into something that we know God has called us to, or that we feel that we are walking in His will, but as soon as the winds blow and the trials begin our thoughts are driven and tossed like a wave of the sea. We begin to doubt if we heard God’s voice correctly, if we are still walking in His will, if this is actually worth it to endure this suffering amidst this pursuit. I know what it is to be walking towards something I know that God spoke to me in a season of calm, and in my pursuit of that it feels like everything is happening that is totally opposite of what I thought it would be. I begin to ask myself “was I crazy and misheard you Lord?” “Why does this hurt so much more then it should?” The doubt can be loud. It is in these moments when obedience must take over, where you entrust yourself to the author and finisher of your faith, you pull out that journal and remind your flesh of what the Lord spoke to you, and you stand firm on His word.

You know what happens when you do this? When you endure, stand fast on His word, and continue to walk in obedience to the Father even when it doesn’t make sense; you will experience life abundantly. Because as you are walking through this season of suffering, a piece of the suffering that you are partaking in is the dying of your flesh. The sanctification of your soul, the purification of your Spirit. It is in these seasons of suffering that God is not only growing your faith, but He is also doing His greatest work - transforming you to be more like Christ. What does this look like? This looks like God gave you a vision for a business, so now you begin to step out in faith and your finances are attacked. You begin to lose every dollar and now you start to hold on to everything around you with a death grip. You begin to bargain with yourself and say “well if I sell these things what if I never get them back.” you begin to see the greediness that has been in your heart for years that the Lord is trying to kill. It’s painful. You begin to negotiate with yourself and question if you heard the Lord correctly. What if this business doesn’t even work; what if, what if, what if. This looks like you are following the Lord but struggling with having purity in your relationship with your girlfriend, but you believe God has called or given you the desire to marry her. So in the maturing of your faith you seek the Lord to be in the center of your relationship as you pursue this desire. And now all of a sudden the desire to sleep with her increases, you resist the temptations but now all the photos in your phone of her are on your mind all day, all these things that would only cross your mind or tempt you every other week is now an all day occurrence. You’re trying to understand why it felt like God gave you a vision of marrying her, but you are walking through the total opposite. And now you are suffering, you begin to negotiate with your sin, you delete the photos and videos and then bargain with yourself and the doubt says “what if she leaves you and you never get to see those photos and videos again,” what if, what if, what if. It can be painful to endure the dying of your flesh. But what happens so often with you and I is we allow what could be seasons of suffering to be years of suffering. You know, the journey that took the Israelites 40 years from Egypt to the Promise Land was only an 11 day journey. What should have been a short season was 40 years of suffering because of disobedience, idolatry, and rebellion. You and I do the same thing. You care so much about that porn site - idolatry - that what could’ve been a short season of learning how to surrender lust in your heart to the Lord and be obedient to what His word says when we encounter temptation, has now turn to a 20 year battle of watching porn. But God is patient. Jesus told His disciples and He tells you and I; “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” (John 10:10 ESV) The Father brings you through these storms to purify you; imagine getting that business and you are generous with your money because all the greediness has been burned out of you. Imagine marrying your girlfriend and having a pure love for her because all of that lust has been burned out of you. That is living life abundantly. Yet we insist on not entrusting ourselves to Him, and we settle for something that is so far away from what God intended for you to experience.

I want to spray the fragrance of grace into this for a moment, and remind you and I of this hymn of old that says “prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.” (Come Thou Fount, hymn 1758) This often brings tears to my eyes as I think of how Jesus is the good Shepard. He knows that I am prone to wander off. He knows that I am prone to leave the Shepard that I love. He knows when you are struggling with purity, and you know it and you are saying to yourself Lord I feel like I am about to wander off from you. You lose someone that you love deeply, and in the dichotomy of your heart - your heart responds and says Lord I feel like I am about to wander off from you; as you pick up those bottles of alcohol and you take in those drugs. And yet He comes and gets you and I with grace, compassion, love, and yes sometimes discipline so we do not wander off as much or as far. But the Lord knows that you are prone to be stuck in seasons of suffering because of your disobedience, He has accounted for that and has grace for you. For He is a good Shepard. When God works a maturity in your Spirit, and you begin to look more like Christ; you and I can respond to suffering like the apostles did, “then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name.” (Acts 5:41 ESV) As you mature as a disciple of Christ and your suffering is less because of disobedience and more for His glory because He can trust you with suffering, like He did with Job, you will face suffering and say He counts me worthy of my suffering, because He is worthy of my suffering. It was the Psalmist who said “it was good that I was afflicted that I may know your ways.” (Psalm 119:71) There is nothing that I can offer the Lord outside of the righteousness of Christ, so I owe Him everything, yes even my suffering I owe to Him. For He is worthy of my suffering.